Arnold Counseling
Michael Arnold, MS, LIMHP, LPC
8031 W. Center Rd., Ste. 303
Omaha, NE 68124

Seeing is Believing

How many times in your life have you heard the saying Seeing is Believing? I wonder if that view is entirely true. For instance, how many views are different when people are interviewed as witnesses of a crime or accident? Usually several. My point is this; a more accurate way of describing what we witness is "Believing is seeing." Therefore, what a persons sees depends on the observer, and what the observer believes colors what they see. In other words, in a sense we are co ...creators of our world by what we believe about it. Let's relate this to the discussion yesterday regarding Red Flags in relationships. In the first stage of a relationship, (called the honeymoon stage) most everyone wants to believe only the best about the person they're with. We ignore (deny reality) flaws or red flags that signal or caution us to slow down or end a potentially abusive relationship. Thus, another saying comes to mind, as in "Love is blind" or "he or she will change" or "I can change him or her." My reality in working with clients is that change can be very difficult and people make changes only when they are ready and want to change, debunking the magical belief that we can make our partner (or anyone else) change.

My final point is this: If you sense something is wrong in your relationship, there probably is. If you ignore red flags you do so at your own peril. Seek help if you have a pattern of being in these types of relationships.

Stay tuned as later I will be talking more about the underlying theme of why some of us persist in choosing unhealthy partners.

The content of this post should not be considered as a substitute for Professional Mental Health therapy.